Topic #26. Colorblindness
(Showing 16-25 of 25)

16. i happen to be color blind.
Wed, Sep 22, 1999 - 11:56 PM/EST

Red-green. I can't see red flowers in green leafed trees. If i look close they seem kind of red-gray. My father is worse. If he's in a city where they reverse or put street light colors in a horizontal space (so it could go either way) he can easily get into accidents.

That's what i think color-blindness is. The other kind isn't real. It's just minimal tolerance at best and an insult at worst.

However anatomically skin color just isn't that important. Blacks sunburn too. Much more substantial is the cultural norms the person follows - everyone deserves to be met on their own ground to some extent. Forcing people to constantly speak to you on yours is essentially intolerant - and that is a big part of white culture. It has to do with power structures. You speak on my time, you speak the way i want, etc. But it is so universal that it is assumed. Like being served coffee all the time - people who like hot chocolate are belittled, unsupported and or marginalized. Just try hanging out with the boss after work with a hot chocolate. Or use a Mac instead of a Windows box....

17. addendum
Thu, Sep 23, 1999 - /EST
ethie'sgirl

Lots of good comments. I definitely fall on the "there shouldn't really be any such thing as color blindness" side of this issue. The claim of color blindness strikes me as phoniness, an uncomfortable sort of politically correct politeness, or actual acceptance of difference that's been poluted by worry about being politically INcorrect. I've tried, in vain, to explain this to my friends. They just can't seem to get it, and I've often wondered if they might not be right, if maybe *I'm* the one seeing this the wrong way. But I keep coming back to my uneasiness. Maybe I need to tell them how it sounds to me: their refusal to mention my color is like a tacit acknowledgement that my color is a negative and that to mention it would be to give someone a reason to dislike or reject me.

(Of course, wouldn't it be better for them to find out they're trying to fix me up with a bigot before they send me out on a date with him?!)

18. dealing with another's racism
Thu, Sep 23, 1999 - 2:21 PM/EST

now here's perhaps the toughest issue. It's easy to talk to the choir - how do people evolve from racism to unified? Confrontation or politeness.. when and how do people own their own change of heart?

19. Steven...
Thu, Sep 23, 1999 - 5:51 PM/EST

I believe it's a matter of using good judgement. I'm for nonconfrontation when at all possible. I lead my life trying very hard to provide an example for others to live by. I don't mean in caring what others think of me, but it being really important what I think of myself, and standing by the choices I've made in my life. I've never known that as much as I have since I've been a mother. Because now I know there is someone who WILL learn from the example I set. Now, I will fight for these choices by whatever means are at my disposal...but as my mother always said, "You catch more flies with sugar.."

I do understand though, that this is very much a woman's point of view--perhaps a Southern woman's point of view at that.

I guess what I am saying though is leading by example is the best way to make a change. That if you return hate for hate--I don't know, I suppose there are times when this is the only way, but I always think it is not the best.

B

20. harder for white people?
Sat, Sep 25, 1999 - 1:26 PM/EST

I wonder if this issue is harder for whites. When faced with racism i became sometimes very angry. Other times very sad. Either way i would then tend to become remote and those emotions would tend to smolder.I talked about this with a black co-worker who's appoach was very peaceful - she spoke about choosing your fights, and better long run choices. In a sense for whites discovering racism is very fresh and raw. For blacks they've gone through that already mostly.

But i think there's a male/female thing going on as well. Men are prone to and certainly encouraged to charge in and push around as a means of solving problems.

21. color sight-
Sat, Sep 25, 1999 - 9:59 PM/EST
antionette

I am out of town right now, so I have not been contributing much or staying updated. But, I have noticed an interesting change in my life. I seem to notice race and bi-racial couples more than ever before. I have noticed many, and I still do not have any negative feelings about it. Yet my perception truely has changed, and I am not sure how to explain it.

22. harder for white people??
Sun, Sep 26, 1999 - 1:32 AM/EST
ethie'sgirl

Steven, although I can see where you're coming from with the idea that the discovery of racism is fresh and raw for some white people, I feel I have to take issue with the implication that racism *isn't* fresh and raw for non-white people. No matter how many experiences I have, I am always shocked, and my feelings are always volatile.

23. steven...
Sun, Sep 26, 1999 - 2:04 AM/EST

When I first married my husband, and in the year following, I had to become a part of my husbands family. What this meant for me was coming to terms with these somewhat 'raw' feelings that came up in the beginning over other people's racist tendancies. Now this is not to say this was my first 'discovery' that racism existed. On the contrary, I knew for a fact that it was alive and well in my own family. However, this was the first time I had been on the 'other' side of it. I kind of think (and i mean no disrespect to anyone who is reading this) that before I married my husband, I could talk about how racism effected people, and don't get me wrong, I have always openly disagreed with the people in my family--and everywhere else who exibited racism. But it's different when you have to feel it as a personal attack. This is not to say I will ever know what my husband and daughter will face. My husband told me very early in our relationship that we had to just live our lives. That racism and prejudice are always cowardly reactions to fear, and we cannot come at them with cowardice. That we have to live our lives and get beyond it. He was telling me in so many words that he had always chosen his battles. No, I don't think racism is more difficult for whites. I have to agree with Ethie's girl on this one. Maybe though, it is more difficult for white people to talk about.

24. more difficult for white people
Sun, Sep 26, 1999 - 11:59 AM/EST

I appreciate that racist incidents can feel fresh and painful to minorities. Nor do i wish to put aside just anger.

I am just saying that in this discussion with my friend she was much more matter of fact about it while i was still fuming. In fact she kind of liked that i was fuming but she was also definately working to calm me down. My admiration of her increased greatly because i knew she wasn't just roling over but she wasn't baited either.

Part of this idea is about having to go through instance after instance. But part of this might also be about things generally getting alittle better so that a minority might go for longer periods without running into a racist incident, so that when it does happen - and it still will probably - it feels fresh because it hasn't been too long.... Another issue i can see relating is wounds that don't have time to heal - where incidents keep piling up which i'm sure happens in some circles. Every incident is just fresh salt in an open wound then.

Harder for white people? I guess that's phrased wrong. Responding to racist incidents to minorities is different for white people. Maybe that's better. But on the other hand it is also about our common response - anger, shock, disbeleif....

25. Colorblindness
Thu, Sep 30, 1999 - 3:26 PM/EST
james

There is a saying, I believe African in origin, which is "It's not what you call me; it's what I answer to." As a black male in my mid 50s I can recall various situation throughout my life when I have experienced or suspected slights that were atleast partially due to racial insensitivity or hostility. When I reflect upon those incidents I can't help but realize how much credibility I accorded and power I abdicated to the offending party by allowing their assessment of me to unduly influence how I felt about myself. As I have matured....and grown older, my self-image has been enhanced and my self-confidence and pride increased to the point where I find racially insensitive remarks to be a distasteful reflection upon the person uttering them. If they have a "problem" with me, it is their problem, not mine. Unless they present an immediate threat to me, I will not condescend to engage them other than to perhaps directly comment on their ignorance. This evolution has enabled me to be very comfortable in interracial relationships and to appreciate them as an opportunity to expand my interpersonal universe beyond the narrow confines of my ethnicity. I have also become more outspoken when I am around friends who make remarks that clearly evidence ethnic, religious, or sexual/sexual preference insensitivity. Years ago I would have said nothing or half-heartedly chuckled so as not to make anyone "uncomfortable."