Topic #2. the tv show...
(Showing 16-30 of 181)

16. New York
Tue, Sep 14, 1999 - 11:39 PM/EST
alda

There seems to be a miss conception that Cicily's school is in the City of New York where in fact the college is located in upstate New York which is very different from the City. Another thing just because one lives in New York City mean you are ducking bullets every second of the day. Growing up in New York is very different from going up in Utah or South Dakota or where ever. You don't face a lot of outright racism every day unless you are unfortunate to walk into a community that does not like the color of your skin. Often you attend school with other kids from a large range of different backgrounds. Growing up in New York City, I never thought about race or was ever treated any differently because of my skin color. Your classmates are more accepting. It wasn't until I left New York City that I became more aware of race and what that really meant. You can still live in the largest city in the country and still lived a sheltered life. It all depends where in the city you live and what is the make up of the community you are from. Are New York kids more sheltered than other kids who grow up else where no but there is still ways to shelter your child no matter where you live. I know many New York City kids myself included who have experience what Cicily faced in Africa and at college.

17. Cicily is tough!
Tue, Sep 14, 1999 - 11:39 PM/EST

In all the family, my heart goes out mostly to Cicily. She is a smart girl. Identifying with whites is hard but it is easier than the alternative route.(being black) In the episode tonight, I was surprised to hear her say that she did not want to be a part of the white race. My impression prior to her statement was that she really wanted to be white. She'll make it. She's tough!

18. we're all unique, created in Gods image
Wed, Sep 15, 1999 - 1:06 AM/EST
toney

If anything the show reinforced my initial lack of support for interacial relationships..for the kids sake! However, I have since reconsidered my opinion given that we live in a world full of shortcomings where people are categorized. I am saddened as I watch the show, the emotional roller coaster the children go through. I can not speak to Bill or Karen, since they made their rightful choices to be together. However, I hold them responsible for not preparing the kids to deal with the worldly misgivings about race. Instilling a sense of pride and basic human values like dignity for oneself, should have been their priority knowing what they went through themselves. Watching the show, I see a loving, caring family with the same needs and aspirations as any other family regardless of social status. I believe they all have the constitution to aspire to whatever they so desire, if they see themselves as people and humans created in the image of God, no less than anyone else. Prejudice is everywhere, I am an African who has witnessed it among my people, let alone in a foreign land. I dare say it didn't hinder me from seeking better opportunities here. I guess I am lucky in a sense, I was not born here and prejudice to me is not an issue, I imagine it exists, however I can't honestly say it's ever stopped me in school or at work. So I say to you Cicily, don't let people define who you are, live your life, take comfort in the family that you have. They will always be there for you..those are the people that matter ultimately. This life is a journey and we're all going through it, live it to the fullest..you can't make up lost time. I might add, you are all beautiful people.

19. non-viewers
Wed, Sep 15, 1999 - 2:24 AM/EST
tony11215

I'm impressed by the responses on this site, but that's kind of what troubles me. PBS tends to attract a more thoughtful type of viewer. While I'm encouraged by the millions who try to understand the issue of race in our country, I'm afraid that the message of this TV series will never reach the tens of millions who are intolerant or who are too ashamed, embarrassed or defensive to have their views about race challenged. While the series shows that family can be a salvation and a sanctuary, it also shows that family ties -- that is, the need to be accepted and validated by your family -- can perpetuate racism. It is certainly easier to accept the biased views of friends and relatives (and I mean of all races) than to challenge them and be ostracized, as Karen was by her family and friends. Bill was right: his daughters represent a challenge to everything many people were taught (either actively or passively) growing up, and people really hate to be confronted with the fact that many of the concepts and beliefs passed down from generation to generation in their families may not be absolute truths.

20. RE: definition of race
Wed, Sep 15, 1999 - 3:05 AM/EST
naka

Unforunately race in the US is not a philosphical construct; it has historical context. Plantation owners and slave traders took great care in racially describing slaves. Words like mulatto (biracial) and quadroon (1/4 black) were used to describe slaves with both white and black ancestry. Having a "drop" of black blood made you black which was (and sometimes still is) a stigma.

Look at the quandary over Thomas Jefferson having fathered at least one child by his biracial slave. This has basically been known for centuries, and yet the keepers of his estate would not (and some still don't) recognize it until science caught up with family history of the slave decendents.

So, this is part of the legacy of race in America.

Cicily was probably considered white in Nigeria because it is a country of dark-skinned black people. They are probably accustomed to people being either black or white and not shades in between (although I have a college friend who is Nigerian and biracial--I think this is much less common than in the US).

21. Thank you
Wed, Sep 15, 1999 - 3:05 AM/EST
smuro97743

The responses are so thoughtful and heartfelt, whether I agree with it all or not does not matter.I deeply appreciate your thoughts and feelings! As to tonight's first hour..it was a relief to leave the race "thing" aside for 60 minutes, and see the parenting issues of dealing with the preteen stuff.Tony, your words seem so wise and true...

22. the tv show
Wed, Sep 15, 1999 - 7:26 AM/EST
amy_dg

I was amazed that anyone would make Cicily "choose" her race when she went to Nigeria. That is when I decided to join this discussion group. I just love this family. I think they have been great parents and adore their children.

Shelly, I don't think Cicily made a big deal of being bi-racial until she went to Nigeria, and felt the pressure of having to "choose"

also while Bill may be a bit dysfunctional (sorry Bill)(Who in this discussion group is not)I see him as a very loving father who adores his children!

23. good
Wed, Sep 15, 1999 - 8:51 AM/EST
viennes

This is the first time that I have joined a group discussion like this or of any kind,I find it very interesting,it is amazing how set in our thoughts we can become,and therfore can not see other view points,this is going to be very enlightening for me.Keep it going people,I am enjoying this.Hopefully it will open some eyes and minds.

It sems to me that Cicily (I maybe wrong) feels that everybody dislikes her before hand.I think that she should take it a little slower and not jump the gun,base it on individual reaction to her,like we all have to do,weather it's dealing with whites or blacks or any other race.

I beleive that we, as parents of bi-racial children should make our children aware, but not to the point that we make them paronoid.

24. Lynn
Wed, Sep 15, 1999 - 9:04 AM/EST
viennes

It seems to me that you can say the same for whites or any other race, every time they go out that they maybe picked on by blacks or any other race, just because they are white.I personally have experienced that situation twice in my life,nothing drastic mind you, but it is out there.

I can remember when Martin Luther King was murdered, that I read of a situation where a black man killed his white neighbour of many years just because he was white......I am sure that there are thousands of stories like this going both ways.Sad but true.

25. Bills hair
Wed, Sep 15, 1999 - 9:05 AM/EST
terry

Shelly, while bills hair is not as you would like it, I find Bill a strong man protecting his family in the way that he does best and his hair is irrevelant. He prepares meals daily for the family and is there is to supervise children while Karen is away. What they have as a family works for them. For those who thinks he is reinforcing a bad sterotype, I say that sterotype is the stay at home dad caring for his family.

26. aware
Wed, Sep 15, 1999 - 9:24 AM/EST
viennes

I believe as a parent of bi-racial children that we should make our children aware of what we feel they may run into out there, but not to the point that we make them paranoid,which I feel happens all to often.

Cicily does seem to have it set in her mind that everbody dislikes her, she has to learn to take each individual as they come along, be it white black what ever, just as we all have to do (or should do) and not group people.

27. aware
Wed, Sep 15, 1999 - 9:25 AM/EST
viennes

I believe as a parent of bi-racial children that we should make our children aware of what we feel they may run into out there, but not to the point that we make them paranoid,which I feel happens all to often.

Cicily does seem to have it set in her mind that everbody dislikes her, she has to learn to take each individual as they come along, be it white black what ever, just as we all have to do (or should do) and not group people.

28. sorry
Wed, Sep 15, 1999 - 9:38 AM/EST
viennes

Sorry about repeating myself.

29. College experience
Wed, Sep 15, 1999 - 9:44 AM/EST
farrell

I was surprised to hear Cicly talk about how race was never that big an issue in her life until she got to college. I would have thought that she would have had more awareness of racial difficulties considering the experiences her parents had had.

30. The college scene
Wed, Sep 15, 1999 - 10:24 AM/EST
jan

I, too, wonder a bit at Cicily's choice of a university.I would think that NYU or somewhere like that would have been a much more diverse institution and she might have met more people with whom she could identify. However, there is so much to this family and each individual that we will never really know - the editing of this series must have been a nightmare! I try to keep in mind that we are only seeing a portion of what was filmed - never the whole picture. Personally, I was never attracted to the idea of a sorority, but I can see that it would have definite advantages in Cicily's situation. Her sorority sisters were OK - it must be hard to be natural in front of a camera.

I continue to feel much compassion for her in her quest to know "who she is." Most of us have the usual growing up insecurities, but to actually have to choose which race you identify more with, is another thing altogether.I think she should definitely continue to define herself outside of a racial label - if at all possible. I thought the conversation with Tomika was very interesting. As a white person, I have no "group" loyalty to other white "sisters" - just because they are white. I have no obligation to stifle my own opinions or actions to keep solidarity with the group, I don't risk alientation or criticism if I differ from other white people. It must be so much harder to be an individual when you have to constantly remind yourself that you are a "black" individual. I feel that the African Americans show less tolerance for Cicily's situation - but then I have to remind myself that there are REAL reasons, historical reasons, for the close knit mentality. I'm not trying to judge - only to air some of the things that I am observing!