Topic #1. Understanding your mate
(Showing 22-36 of 42)

22. Sharing an experience
Tue, Sep 21, 1999 - 11:58 PM/EST
red

I consider myself very lucky, I grew up in rural white America and always looked for somthing different whether it was my mohawk in high school or getting my tongue pierced, the unknown excited me. I believe that a lot of my interracial experience has been a deep attraction to gaining knowledge and broadening my horizons. I have had dated Asian, Native American, Caucasion, African American, and Nigerian. Lucky for me I'm still single and intend to appreciate to the fullest extent every color of the rainbow in every aspect. I thank the Goddess daily for my right to chooose to do so and for the acceptance of my friends and family. Although I have had my share of "interesting" experiences do to my variety packed datebook I wouldn't change it for anything. I have a phenomenal biracial child who seems more worried about what she's going to wear to school than the color or lack of color on the skin it covers. I live in a city where interracial couples move to be together, and do so rather successfully. I respect annettes right to speak her opinion, but totally disagree. To the woman who changed her mind because of a's race- I find it quite confusing what would the difference be in the opinion on biracial children between a black and a white person? I have numerous friends and relatives of both races and none of them can think of a difference. People are a product of their environment, they take what they want from it and create some of their own "spices to put in the pot" and the end result is an ever changing society. ex: I grew up Lutheran and am now Wiccan,I keep the fact I should respect everyones spiritual choices and denounce the fact that I should feel guilty for every little thing. I do not have on rose colored glasses I just don't look for the negative theres enough of it shoved down my throat daily.

23. black\white relationships
Wed, Sep 22, 1999 - 12:16 PM/EST

Why is it that most of the black/white relationships are between a black man and a white woman? My guess is that black men have bought into the American myth that white women are the "cream of the crop" and white women, bored with what white men have to offer, start to seek out men of other races. If black/white relationships happened for the same reasons as same race relationships, there would not be so many more black men with white women than white men with black women.

24. racial mixing in the "Melting Pot"
Wed, Sep 22, 1999 - 1:05 PM/EST
kjsmama

Whether you believe that america is a "melting pot" or a "big salad," you're going to be in the bowl with a diverse group of people. To discount people based on your prejudices only leaves you with less people to love.

My sister and I were recently discussing race, she couldn't understand how I don't have the prejudices she does, since we grew up in the same environment. I told her that my only prejudicial thought is that all people are stupid, and I believe that until they prove otherwise. It's not the color or creed, it's the mind.

also, I was disappointed to read that annetta "feels sorry for" me and my husband. We are quite happy and we have a beautiful child. I can only hope that views like hers have changed by the time my two-year-old goes to college.

25. Response to hill
Wed, Sep 22, 1999 - 3:12 PM/EST
britt

WHOA! That statement that you made about why black men date white women was very interesting. I do not agree. Why do white women have to "get bored" with white men in order to date black men? I have dated both black and white men, but my preference is for black men. But it is not because I "got bored" with white men; in fact, I dated black men first! Then, I dated some white men and an Asian man, then met my boyfriend, who is black. But I stopped dating my exes because I "got bored" with THEM, not their skincolor!

26. response to annetta
Wed, Sep 22, 1999 - 6:19 PM/EST
elizabethrlk

Mmmmmm....pointed out some facts?? I think you pointed out your opinion Annetta...not hard and true facts :-) And we responded with our "opinions" and experiences as well...Peace to you and thank i thank you for being so open and so able to speak your opinions..because it's truly what makes the world go 'round...

27. Another perspective-
Thu, Sep 23, 1999 - 8:51 AM/EST

I feel that most people get caught up in many different issues.........and maybe miss the bigger picture. I was born and raised in Pa. left the country after high school and lived 25 years abroad. Returned to the states 12 years ago. America is a great country....but it will not remain so long if we don't realize that:

Most of our issues are political and economical.

Generally speaking, politicians, religious leaders and the wealthy are basically only interested in keeping the status quo....powerful and wealthy on top, masses below.

All over the world people are fighting....

Main reason racial and economics

I hope that Americans can avoid this.

If not, there is no hope for us.

I for one am ready for anything that will help the masses here live better. When everyone has enough their is less fear of others.

I think the issue we are discussing here are important, but the real issue politics and money cause many of these issues and they need to be recognized and dealt with.

Love ya all....

mamoosh

28. understanding your mate
Thu, Sep 23, 1999 - 11:38 AM/EST
annetta

First of all, Rain I apologize for your confusion I meant Aduni, and to bhjb no I don't think that the "onus is on me to educate the world." As elizabethrlk pointed out these are "my" opinions. Oh and elizabethrlk, all due respect, I don't expect you to agree with me at all because you are caucasion and generally most caucasion people don't think that racism is as bad as it is. At this point I don't care how many people don't share or agree with "my" opinions, but some of the things I said are "fact." Oh, and kjsmama, your children have nothing or would have nothing to fear from me, because I am not ignorant. Just because I have some opinions about certain things doesn't mean I would ever purposely hurt a child. I am a realist and contrary to what most of you think I am not a bitter, resentful, hateful person. I see things the way they are, most of you seem to see things the way you want or wish them to be. Well guess what, I wish things were different too. I wish that people could all just be people and not a white person, or a black person, or an asian person, or a latino person. Just a person. I wish that you guys could get to know me, because you would see that I am not the awful person that you think I am. I have just seen and experienced so much that I'm jaded. Enlighten me, please!

29. Re: post #28
Thu, Sep 23, 1999 - 12:06 PM/EST
rain

To Annetta,

Your apology, though not at all necessary, is graciously accepted. I propose that we clear the air... While we've addressed some interesting points here, we've veered away from the "understanding your mate" topic.

30. Response to Britt
Thu, Sep 23, 1999 - 12:12 PM/EST

You stated that your preference is for black men. Why? I can only conclude that you are treated better by black men than by white men. If I felt I was treated better by another race of men, I would be concerned. I believe that many white women/black men relationships are created as an escape mechanism from dealing with relationship defects and a deep need to raise ones self-esteem. The white woman's self-esteem is raised by being with a black man who feels he has the "top of the line" in women -- similar to having the best car on the lot. I am by no means saying that all white women/black men relationships are formed for these reasons. I am saying that something is going on when the ratio of white women/black men relationships is so much higher than black women/white men relationships.

31. understanding your mate
Thu, Sep 23, 1999 - 12:34 PM/EST
annetta

Elizabethrlk, I apologize ahead of time for that personal attack. Unfortunately, I didn't take the time to read what I said before I posted, because I was a little "fired up." What, I meant to say was generally or in "my" experience, white people hardly ever agree with black people, on racism. You did nothing to provoke that statement, you stated your opinion, and I have read some of your other opinions and it appears that you are pretty well rounded.(For a white chick) Anyway, I hope you accept my apology, because I really didn't mean "you", I meant "most."

32. understanding your mate
Thu, Sep 23, 1999 - 12:41 PM/EST
annetta

In response to rain, thank you, and you are absolutely right. I propose we start another topic.

33. Response to Annetta
Thu, Sep 23, 1999 - 8:48 PM/EST
elizabethrlk

Pretty fly for a white chick huh?? laffin...well i think you're pretty fly for a black chick too annette :-) Believe it or not i am very sympathetic to racism issues in America...that's speaking from the heart...i agree we clear the air and dialog on something different. How about we switch over to the plight of Kathie Lee Gifford and her fight for better sweat shops?? Humor people...my attempt at humor..PEACE!

34. Resonse to hill2
Fri, Sep 24, 1999 - 7:54 AM/EST
britt

Ya know, I have tried to delve into the psychological reasons behind why I prefer black men, and actually, I have come up with very little that makes sense. And no, black men have neither treated me better nor worse. A friend of mine (who happens to be white and attracted to black men) and I sat around in college and used to rack our brains to try to figure out why we like black men. But then I woke up and realized something: WHO CARES? It is a fact. It is the prejudiced world we live in that wants to know WHY and makes us feel abnormal and inferior because of this. It is like asking a gay person why they are gay. It just "is." I'm through with trying to explain to the world (and to myself) WHY. I am currently in a four-year relationship and I am very happy, so I usually don't think about it that much anymore, anyway.

Let me pose this to YOU: why do YOU like black men? (if that is the case)

I have a friend who prefers Latino men, one who prefers Asian men, some who prefer white men, and some who prefer black men. Does that make any of them better or worse?

35. Response to annetta
Fri, Sep 24, 1999 - 8:06 AM/EST
britt

Although when I read your (as you call it) personal attack on elizabethrlk my hair bristled and I became very defensive, I do understand what you are saying: in general, most white people downplay racism or think that it is not that bad. But in all fairness to elizabethrlk (and I know you apologized) she is raising a biracial child, so I am sure she has experienced racism first- or at least second-hand. I am white, but because of my black boyfriend and many black friends, I am not ignorant to the fact that racism is alive and well in America. I have seen cabs pass my boyfriend up, cops stop him for no reason, salespeople ignore him, jobs deny him, and people scorn him. And it hurts. Because I love him. No, I can not personally EMPATHIZE because I am not black; the only comparison that I can draw from is my experience of being a woman and the discrimination that goes with that (as I'm sure you've felt yourself). But I do know that racism exists. Many white people I know, however, are in the dark. They do not personally know or spend any length of time with black people, so how would they know? Unfortunately, all they see about black people comes from the media. See, it is entirely possible for whites to go just about all their lives and not "have to" come in contact with black people, but black people usually have to deal with white people, white society, and white male-dominated views. I try as much as I can to educate people and show them that not ALL black people_____(fill in the blank) whatever bad things you've heard.

I just consider each small step a "chink in the wall" of racism.

I do not think you are a bad person...in fact, I wish we could all have a face-to-face discussion (wouldn't THAT be interesting) because I think everyone in this group would learn something if we actually got to know everyone else.

36. Response to Britt #34
Fri, Sep 24, 1999 - 12:57 PM/EST

In answer to your question of why I prefer black men. When I was dating, I preferred black men because we shared the same history, culture, and struggle for racial equality. If someone prefers a whole group of people over another, it should be easy to state why. My gay friends do know why they prefer same gender relationships. Why is it that some white women have no problem saying they prefer black men but cannot express why. Thank you Britt for your input, but my question still goes unanswered.