Topic #3. The Sims': an interracial "Everyman" family?
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1. The Sims': an interracial "Everyman" family?
Mon, Sep 13, 1999 - 6:53 PM/EST
thaduke

In many discussions and drive-by single posts, I have seen that there are people who feel that the Sims' are not the "poster family" of the interracial age. Bill's problems with "his other Bill", the disconnectedness to some aspects of the family, the interactions.

My take is that they were probably chosen just because the producers could see that they WEREN'T a "poster family" or a "model family". I believe that the temptation was probably there to select a family on par with, what...TV's Huxtable's? It would smack all so pungently of an appeal to (fill in blank) group that "hey...see guys...we're just like everyone else!" However, the producers took the more high-risk, high-gain road of showing a family from the pioneer days or interracial relationships. Showing that the pioneers usually get the arrows, and they're still in ways dealing with their wounds is poignant and relevant. The reversal of the "traditional" roles is also a good twist. For the record, I feel that Bill is catching WAY too much flak for his "Artist" pursuit and personna. If you've ever hung around actors or musicians, you'll know he's no different that any other in affect, aspiriation, and behavior.

The problems in interraction between spouses, and Cicely's complaints, difficulties, and observations could be seen as giving fodder to individuals who would say, "see...that race-mixing is doomed...that's why we should stay with our own." In actuality, they speak volumes about how the Sims' are actually a real "Everyman" couple for interracial couples in particular, and couples in general. By not trying to scream "we're just like you", and not hitting us over the head with "a message" (although we've seen only two hours...got my helmet ready just in case), they actually get the "message" through loud and clear that they're no different than any couple, with the hopes, dreams, frustrations, fears, etc. that go along with relationships in this modern world.

Comments?

2. Part #1
Mon, Sep 13, 1999 - 8:37 PM/EST
christina

I have to agree with the majority, they certainly were not the family I expected. To me they did not reflect an "everyday" family... I am a 40 hour working mother of three girls, I cook, I clean I do laundry, my husband also works a 40 hour "factory" job, to me the "Sims/Wilson" family were more of a "alternative/lifestyle", than a working class middle american blue collar kind of family. And also living in New York as they do, seeing a bi-racial couple is more of a norm, than here in "small town" USA. Let's talk "real world" here, where going into the local "Denny's", and not being served, and as far as Cicely going to Africa to find her "roots", the honest truth is the roots are right there in Queens, NY. I will continue tonight to watch part 2 in the series, but feel it does not in anyway reflect the issues that us in "middle america" face on a day to day basis in an interracial marrage.

3. Re: Part #1
Mon, Sep 13, 1999 - 9:00 PM/EST
thaduke

First of all, I'm sorry about your daughter, Christina: even though it was a while ago, it know it hurts.

Secondly: yes, I agree...the Sims/Wilson family isn't like my family...could they have chosen another family? Sure. But producers and TV these days have gone the exact opposite, and chosen "Huxtable"-ized poster families instead of your or my family. Is there a happy medium that the producers could have chosen that looks more like you or I? Probably. I don't know their criteria, and would have to hear from them (I'd like an online chat with them: that would be cool), but at least they were trying to avoid cliches. Gotta give them credit.

As for the daughter "exploring her roots", you're right: they're where she hung her hat for lo those many years. But I do thing it's good for her to get out of her element, and out of her "funk" at Colgate by going overseas. From what I've read, it gives her a different perspective on a lot of things...

Do you believe that the purposes and long term interests of biracial children and interracial relationships are best served by either (a) showing the mundane, everyday aspects of who we are, to demonstrate that we "put our pants on one leg at a time" just like other couples, or (b) the "you and I against the world" war-story, the negative experiences we've had tack. I know that it's important that we share that this happens to us, sure. I just don't know how well it will change hearts and minds. Or even if that should be the purpose of telling our stories, anyway.

Tha' Duke

4. reservations
Tue, Sep 14, 1999 - 4:58 AM/EST
susan966

I don't think that this family was the best choice to be the poster family for interracial couples (like it or not, they are, by virtue of being the only family portrayed in this series). My fear is that some of Bill Sims' irresponsible behavior toward his family (like going AWOL when his wife was sick, not coming to his daughter's birth) will misleadingly appear typical of African American males and/or interracial couples to the uneducated viewer, of which there must be many. If so the series could reinforce racist attitudes rather than undermining or challenging them. My point isn't to criticize Bill Sims (I'm sure he had his reasons) but the filmmaker's decision. If you are going choose only one family as the example of interracial marriage, why not pick one that is more typical and less likely to play into racist myths and stereotypes?

5. Part Two
Tue, Sep 14, 1999 - 9:13 AM/EST
christina

Ok I know that I will get some negative feedback from this, but again as I watched last nights episode.... what are they trying to "say here"??? It seems to me that the whole program revolves around the "dinner table"...why not talk about Bill's parents reactions to when he brought Karen home for "dinner"? And as far as the other students reactions to Ciciley on the "bus ride", I in no way felt it was a racial thing, as I did a bunch of tired teenagers having words because she was bringing along a "friend" and they couldn't. Lets see what unfolds tonight....

6. Poster Family?
Tue, Sep 14, 1999 - 10:31 AM/EST
ottercat

Look, guys,this is America, land of the non-conformist. Average is only math. Normal is and opinion. The Wilson-Sims family's real world isn't mine, but who says it isn't real? It's "AN American Love Story" not THE.

7. 3. The Sims' : an interracial "Everyman" family ?
Tue, Sep 14, 1999 - 10:43 AM/EST
iris

The Wilson-Sims may not be the "everyman family", but they certianly are remarkably like my family. No-one ever said that they were to represent middle america - in fact I don't think they want to " represent" anything. They are just who they are. I grew up with my musician father doing most of the cooking. It's good to finally see another family with that "reversal" of roles. I was tired of only see "traditional" families with "traditional" roles on television. What this says to me is that people may have tuned in to see an interracial family is like, but there are ways not related to race in which they are different from a TV or "everyman" family

8. "Gather 'round the table, boys"
Tue, Sep 14, 1999 - 10:52 AM/EST
thaduke

Christina;

I don't quite understand the issue you have with the focus on the table. I know that the dinner table is the focal point of most families (that and the kitchen). Maybe the filmmaker was getting symbolic on us. It symbolizes warmth, coming together, socialization. It's where most of the talking and interaction goes on in many families. Somehow, I think Bill's parents were like a lot of AfAm parents when their kids bring home a cross-race partner. Maybe worried but accepting. They certainly seemed that way to me when they came over for New Years. I think we'll certainly see how Karen's people feel about Bill when she goes down to Florida...

Tha' Duke

9. Cicily
Tue, Sep 14, 1999 - 11:30 AM/EST
deb

It seems Cicily invested so much time proving that she is not only black but also white and she wants the world to understand that. She is the one who makes it an issue. Being a black woman, when I see an interracial person, I take them for what they are, humanbeings and don't try to label them. Cicily could have invested the same amount of time in getting to know her African American brothers and sisters right here in America as she did with her white friends. She needn't have gone all the way to Africa for that. It is evident that the black students she went to Africa with had no problem with her being biracial. I wonder what the difference would have been had she had a black mother and a white father.

10. "Typical interracial family"??
Tue, Sep 14, 1999 - 1:27 PM/EST

I agree with Iris, this family may not me typical, but it sure is like my family. I thought it was good to show a bit of the real life, on the road and at home, of a journeyman musician. How difficult and wearying it can be. I am very proud, myself, of my own musician husband's willingness to help at home, never seperating jobs into "women's" or "men's" work, just doing what's needed. The family shows a tremendous amount of love and support for eachother. I think that Bill's absences as mentioned on the show have to do with the ups and downs of a musicians life, as well as his admitted need to grow into the maturity needed to handle family responsibilities.

This lack of maturity can be seen in young families across the board, and I hear regret in his voice when he speaks of missing some of his kid's childhood, because he didn't know how to respond. So this family rings true to me. NO one's perfect, but the love helps them all through the hard times. Clearly, though it's sometimes been difficult, Karen feels Bill's love supporting her.

11. Are the Wilson/Sims the RIGHT family?
Tue, Sep 14, 1999 - 2:38 PM/EST
epi

I don't have anything new to add, I just want to say that I am really glad we are discussing these questions. What I am curious about is how do we encourage people in general to have these kind of discussions.From where I sit (as a white woman married to a black man, as the former affirmative action officer and as someone with several close black friends) I know of many white people who would like to be having these kind of discussions but don't know how.

12. Reservations
Tue, Sep 14, 1999 - 5:46 PM/EST
cook

I'm responding to the concern that Bill Sims's behavior plays into racial stereotypes. He comes across as extremely human, very textured, complex, imperfect. The easy way out is to succumb to the belief in racial stereotypes. It's much tougher to accept that a black man has human feelings and human failings. It suggests that black men are not allowed to have problems the way, say, white men are allowed to have problems. Or are there no white married women dealing with white husbands with substance abuse or immaturity issues?

It's interesting how preconceptions about acceptable family norms still persist. The Sims-Wilson family is probably as normal as any other American family. Many of us may have same-race partners and still deal with fractures and division. No, Bill Sims is not perfect. I suspect that as the series unfolds even more of his imperfections will be revealed. He isn't Every(black)man. He's Bill Sims, a very interesting person, if you ask me.

13. Another Take on "Poster Family"
Thu, Sep 16, 1999 - 11:58 AM/EST

The credits say the series is "created by Jennifer Fox" and she credits herself in other places as well.

I am a former filmmaker and here's my take on why the Sims family is in the series.

Filmmakers are queasy about having enough interesting material. Young filmmakers aren't aware that ANY family is pretty damn interesting. Some night somewhere this girl saw (or heard of) Bills Sims and his white wife and the rest was history .... wow, music + a bi-racial marriage + a couple of kids. Wow. And, hey, they lived in New York .... subway-close.

And why hasn't anyone mentioned how extremely odd it is (and telling about the thinking behind the relationship between filmmaker and family and PBS)

that Papa Bill is selling his damn CD's through PBS at the end of the episodes?!

14. smitty
Thu, Sep 16, 1999 - 1:17 PM/EST
ottercat

Odd? It was probably part of the contract. And if he has tapes instead of CD's, this techno-barbarian would like to have some. Anybody know what year we're covering here?

15. Ottercat
Thu, Sep 16, 1999 - 2:21 PM/EST

My thinking was along these lines. Here we go on a relatively serious and heartfelt attempt to portray a bi-racial marriage. The family offers itself up to help everyone understand, right?

Then WHO was it that decided to peddle Bill's music? Was it Bill? That is provocative. Was it the lady filmmaker. That is equally provocative.

Watch Bill's hair style change. I thing the shaved head is the 1998-99 version while the rest of the series was shot in the early 90's.

I can't help it. I made this kind of film for 35 years. You try to put a lot on the screen but you never get all of it there. Will they have the family and the filmmaker appear at the end for some questions? Would be interesting.

16. smitty
Thu, Sep 16, 1999 - 3:32 PM/EST
ottercat

Would be utter cool. I think they're to be online soon. Wish I could be there.