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Topic #16. Why Do Black Men Abandon Their Children?
(Showing 1-6 of 6)

1. Why Do Black Men Abandon Their Children?
Tue, Sep 28, 1999 - 11:25 AM/EST

It seems like their are alot more single mothers out there than ever before, especially in the black community. Also, I see a lot of white women with two or three bi-racial kids waiting at the bus stop...

I feel SO ashamed when I see this because it seems like black guys just want to make babies and leave.

Now I know that this type of behavior is prevalent in the white and latin community as well, but in terms of percentage, I think black guys are the worst, as far as paternal abandonment.

I know a fellow named Jaime with 9 kids; none of which he takes any responsibility for and 6 of them are with white women...

and what's up with the women? They can't be so stupid that they don't realize these guys aren't committed to them; or maybe they just WANT kids by black guys and no financial or emotional support from them.

Any ideas?

2. I think...
Tue, Sep 28, 1999 - 1:08 PM/EST

I believe that men in general(sorry guys)want to enjoy all of the perks of sex, but don't want to partake in the responsibility. That's why men abandon their children....they're young and can't really support themselves let alone someone else....besides it would mean sacrificing part of their lives. I read somewhere that more young white women have abortions than young black women, maybe that's why it's more obvious.

As for the women....when you grow up not being loved/not feeling loved you seel yourself short. You accept the first thing that looks remotely like love...and then you start telling yourself lies and eventually, you actually believe that he loves you. Or you make yourself believe that because he wants to have sex with you, that he loves you. But some women just don't care and they just want babies. I know some girls who are 15 and they're having a competition to see who can have a baby first.

3. Well said...Sessa
Wed, Sep 29, 1999 - 2:20 PM/EST
nubianpeach

I was just about to say some of the same things. At first, it's the sex issue. Men, and including women enjoy the activities of sex and forget to realize that there's so much more behind it. Both sexes don't think about the consequences. Whereas women are more futuristic and tend do things like having sex on purpose to trap a man (So that he could have her baby.)

It happens all of the time...

And some women are just as careless.. from what both of you mentioned earlier...They allow themselves to be set up for trouble unknowingly.

Since you mentioned the Black man, I spoke with a friend the other day and asked her What's causing the demise of the Black man, including not taking responsibilities and what can society do to help.. She told me that men have this ego and women only get in the way of it. She states that men, especially Black men are head strong and you can't tell them anything. Her answer was that women need to do better jobs raising their sons to prepare them for the world. It starts when they are young because by the time they grow up to be men,it's often too late.

4. "The demise of the Black man?"
Wed, Sep 29, 1999 - 4:27 PM/EST

Nubianpeach,

"Women are more futuristic"?

You mean they look into the future or they're from the future? heheh...

I don't buy into the "demise of the black man" theory...

Could you elaborate on what you think this is, precisely?

You are so kind-hearted; rather than blame people for their own misgivings, you would rather make elaborate excuses for bad behavior.

I agree with you, if you feel that women need to do better jobs raising their sons, but what about black women? Or are you guys all perfect?

"Cause, I know a few that are headstrong also... ;-)

5. *LOL*
Wed, Sep 29, 1999 - 5:59 PM/EST

nubianpeach~excellent point!

proteus~Yes we are perfect!!!! =0) Just playin'...

People need to raise their children better.... women aren't perfect but I think that we are more strong willed than anything...I listen to what you have to say and take your opinions into consideration, but b/c I strongly believe what I do I'm not easily swayed. If I'm wrong I'll admit it...most of the men I know aren't like that...they will go out of their way to do one thing even when they know it's wrong. That stubborness gets them in trouble sometimes....why is this? You're a man, proteus, please does it give some amount of satisfaction to do the wrong thing, rather than admit to being wrong?

6. Response
Wed, Sep 29, 1999 - 11:23 PM/EST
nubianpeach

Yes, we women are perfect......LOL

Seriously, the demise of the Black man theory deals with the negative images of the Black male that deal with issues such as drugs, crime, single-parenting. Even you should know this with all of those statistics you were quoting the other day. Those are demise issues because if they are not corrected, there will be a downfall of the Black man. I can't explain any better than this.

Women are futuristic. We are planners for the most part. How many men do you know sit back and think about what's going to happen five years from now. All of the ones that I know are only concerned about the here and now and immediate gratification. There are some exceptions...

It's the truth....:)

Men are STUBBORN...belive me, I know from persnal experiences. Proteus, you know you guys hate to admit when you're wrong..:) :)

Proteus you stated, "They can't be so stupid that they don't realize these guys aren't committed to them"...I consider myself strong-willed and a planner but I've been in those situations were I've played the fool and thought someone was committed but in actuality, he was a DOG.. Woof, Wooof!! I allowed myself to endure that just for the simple sake of holding on...That's goes to show you that we as women are not perfect...


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